PRAYER CHANGES THINGS

Being depressed was hard. 

My first episode started right after my son was born in 2006. Postpartum depression is a real thing people! I remember feeling empty and sad most of the time. I loved my baby but it was hard to function for him and do everything he needed of me. It was a strange time to go through but eventually, I got through it.
Years passed but being a homemaker, mother, wife, fulltime employee and student all at once had taken a toll. If you know me, I am a perfectionist... so not being able to handle everything I was faced with, was difficult to admit. And even more difficult to figure out what to do. Feelings of sadness, low energy levels, and lack of concentration were clearly evident. Although my depression was not as profound as it previously was in previous years, it had certainly returned. 

To add to this, the relationships in my life were changing as well. 

Months earlier, I had begun praying this simple prayer: "God, please allow those that should be in my life to remain here and please remove those that should have only been here for a season or mean me more harm than good. Amen." 

In early 2016, I started to see weird behaviors from girlfriends that were closest to me. I tried to justify their behaviors with excuses... allowing grace. Then, I realized that no one was allowing that same grace to me lol. 
I realized that I was inevitably about to lose these close friendships.

I started to realize that maybe it wasn't such a bad thing though. After all, once I thought about it, I had lost friends before as a child/teenager, and not to down play the friendships we had, but I knew I could get through this as I did before. 

I began to understand that sometimes losing people is a blessing. It often allows room for better relationships, gives us a new perspective, allows more time to focus on ourselves and to nurture the relationships that truly matter. 
I stopped stressing the fact that these relationships were ending and started concentrating on the relationships I still had with people that I thought really cared for me. 


But God wasn't through yet....